Conspiracy Theorists

We’re F*cked & You’re Making It Worse


Definition of conspiracy theory:

A belief that some covert but influential organization is responsible for an unexplained event.


Definition of belief:

An acceptance that something exists or is true, especially one without proof.

After them two definitions I can safely say what I have suspected for some time: I am definitely not a conspiracy theorist. Neither is Eddie Vedder, Michael Moore, Oliver Stone, Sean Penn, Marilyn Manson, George Carlin or any of the other well-known liberal thinkers who I admire. After all, these people base much of what they say on facts and they approach their work and ideas with the same care we were taught whilst essay writing in school i.e. point – proof – explanation. They only concern themselves with plights about real tragedies or suffering and actively help to make the situations better.


I would guess 90% of the world agrees on the next few statements:

1) Politicians are puppets who do what their told. Example: George W. Bush was clearly not right in the head.

2) Governments will look after the interests of rich people before the interests of the rest of us. Money is power etc. Example: Political Contributions = Bribes

3) Democracy doesn’t exist; governments will do what they like. Example = The UK Coalition Government – no-one voted for that.

4) The world can be a nasty place at times, and some people (in power or not) can be completely sadistic and selfish. Example: The holocaust.

5) All of the above can be proved by examples from history and therefore are not conspiracy theories!

Conspiracy theorists are much the same as the religious folk they criticise, they have beliefs, no evidence to back them up and try desperately, badgering you at every opportunity, to convert you to their way of thinking. Another way they are very similar is how far-fetched many of their theories are, just as ridiculous as a virgin birth or resurrection…I mean lizards wearing people costumes? Really? If you do attempt to disagree with anything they say you will either be accused of being a reptilian, a member of the illuminati or a blind sheep. You will never change the mind of a conspiracy theorist.

The conspiracy theories I take issue with are largely based on the entertainment industry, particularly Roc Nation records and any film that has a sinister cult plotline. These are the ones that I believe to be extremely dangerous; as they divert our attention from the real horrors happening all around the world that we can prove are happening. I couldn’t care less what Jay-z and his wife are symbolising with their hands, if they are trying to brainwash us with their music videos then they’re obviously doing a terrible job as I seem to be completely oblivious to the message.

These people who are in the centre of their crosshairs also seem to be people who do a lot of good in the world. Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie for example, these two are great storytellers who take children from miserable surroundings where their futures are bleak at best & non-existent at worse and take them to a place where they can do and be anything they want. They also donate millions of dollars to different causes every year. So what exactly are they doing that’s so bad?

The above theories usually come in the form of sketchy YouTube videos that can be turned into jokes simply by leaving the comment:


meanwhile if you try to produce some evidence against them they will deny its authenticity before even knowing the source.

So when faced with a threat to our lives, health, freedom or liberty what do these cyber warriors do: nothing. They make a YouTube video and then comment on every video saying something they disagree with while making no attempt to offer any real solutions.

So I say to these people: Next time you want to make a video about Rihanna, Jay Z, Beyoncé, Brad & Angelina and all the rest, why not instead go help out at a homeless shelter? Go do some volunteer work? Or (if leaving your computer is out of the question) make a video to raise awareness about any of the REAL (i.e. proven) events that have REALLY HAPPENED… in real life. A collection of which can be found on this website  how-nice-of


Subtitle from ‘Antivist’ by Bring Me The Horizon.

All definitions from the Oxford English Dictionary.


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